Second family
by Psychodahlia
Summary: The Cleaner fic. William hates radios because of his second family.


At one point, they had a radio. But then there came the argument of whether to listen to hard rock or gospel. The argument had gotten louder and louder until he'd finally had to step in. Now, they didn't have a radio anymore.

William really thinks that sometimes they should've been able to work something out. Four capable, reasonable adults should be able to compromise about which station to listen to. After all, he does it with his family every time they go on a car trip.

William always had mixed feelings about the word and meaning of 'family'. Oh, he loves his wife and kids and would take a bullet for any of them, no question of that. But some would call Darnell, Akani and Swenton his second family and that's where things get confusing. Because he would take a bullet for any one of them too, but he can't quite figure out the relationship. He knows wife, kids. How do the three of them fit into that?

So he decides to analyze and think it through. Logic is a gift from God and he's noticed it can be very useful.

Second family. He's the father. The alpha male. Leader of the pack. He's always been that way. Even in jail, a cesspool of alpha males and alpha male wannabes, he stood out as the real deal. He makes the decisions, he yells when his people screw up. William is the father.

Who is the mother? That's a harder question. The easy answer is Akani. He's slept with her, she gives advice, and oh yeah, she's female. But she's sarcastic, she goes against his orders, and he's got plenty of reason to question her judgment. If they're 'parents' then they should be working together and all too often it feels like she's pushing against him. She could play the rebellious teenager much better.

Darnell's probably the closest thing they have to a mother, in the least homo-erotic way possible. He might not be the best guy in the field, he's too conspicuous, too nervous for that. But he makes for great back-up and he's got the great gift of common sense. William knows a good man when he sees one and Darnell is a good man. 'Mother' is the second in command.

Which leaves Swenton. A second rebellious teenager? Just the thought of it is enough to make William shiver. He couldn't handle that and besides, Swenton doesn't go against his orders quite often enough for that role. He's definitely a kid, they still have to tell him to get the new phone he needs before he gets the boots he wants. No thinking, he'll jump into something, regardless of the danger that is often so obvious. Okay, Swenton's a kid who needs to be protected from himself.

William leaned back and tried to process all that. Eventually, he raised his eyes. "Huh. I think I just figured them out."

"You talking to yourself again?" Akani's had that look on her face, like she's about to mess with him. She was carrying a large box with a picture of a….

_You enjoy messing with me, don't you?_ He silently asked. God gets His kicks by causing him havoc, he's sure of it. "What is that?" It was a rhetorical question.

She smirked and set it down. As if on cue, Darnell walked in. He saw the box, saw the picture and looked at William. "Is that a…"

"It's not staying." He was not about to listen to another argument about how hard rock is nothing but bad language and gospel is like screeching cats.

Just to make things worse, in came Swenton and he saw it too. Lula could learn about puppy eyes from him.

"Don't even try it." William warned.

"We won't fight this time." Swenton promised and he meant every word of it. "I'll keep the volume low."

William didn't want to glare, that was too harsh for this. But his look said everything. "No."

"Music keeps the workplace happy." Darnell pointed out. "You're supposed to make a joyful noise."

Now he did glare. 'Mom' isn't supposed to go against 'Dad'. "Does this look like a joyful, happy place to you? Do we do happy, joyful work?"

"Not that lecture again." Akani muttered. In the time that the three men had spent talking, she had gotten It out of the box and plugged It in. Swenton was by her side in a heartbeat and It was turned to…

_Oh God no…_

"Rock and roll ain't noise pollution." Swenton sang along. "Rock and roll ain't gonna die. Rock and roll ain't…..hey!" He glared at Darnell when the other man turned It off.

"The song lies."

"Does not!"

William turned away from the argument to glare at Akani. "You did this on purpose."

"Yeah. I felt like messing with you." She leaned back against the wall and gave him that tempting, 'come and get me' smirk of hers.

He sighed, stood up, picked It up and threw It on the floor. "No joyful noise. No noise pollution. **No** messing with my head just because you feel sadistic. Got it?" There were mumbled variants of 'Yeah, got it.' "Good…" He paused for a second.

_I really do have them figured out._ He had to hold back a smile when he thought that. There were only so many things you could figure out in this life. For what it was worth, he had figured out his 'family'.

Fin.

Author's notes: Not terribly happy with it. I couldn't think of a better motivation for Akani. I don't like that character at all, but I'm not sure she'd be that blatantly disrespectful. Meh, it's finished. Review if you want.


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